Taking Time
by Harmonie
Summary: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever
1. Wager

Taking Time : Wager

Series: Taking Time

Title: Wager

Author: Harmony

Rating: PG-13 

Description: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever.

Pairing: B/S 

Disclaimer: The characters are merely my puppets for the day. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy are head puppeteer guys. They pull the strings.

Distribution: Free Again ([http://www.441creative.com/jo][1]) and anyone else I've given permission to. If you want it, e-mail me: [harmony@441creative.com][2]

Feedback: Imagine a world without shrimp. Well, I really like shrimp. Feedback is my shrimp. 

Dedications: Well…my family as usual. And you know what? James Marsters, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Cos they create these characters for me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Buffy couldn't sleep. That face hung in her mind. His confused face when he'd walked into the barrier, which she'd told Willow to put up. His hurt, his pain, his anger, his love…yes, she saw love. She saw a million different emotions cross his face, and felt his heart break.

She didn't like him…she didn't like what he'd done to her. He had chained her up, with threats to let Drusilla loose on her. He'd forced her to do something she didn't want to do. Spike was the lowest of the low at the moment. But she'd caused pain she never knew she was capable of causing. Being able to put that expression on someone's face was reserved for Angelus, for Parker, for Spike himself.

Buffy kicked the covers off of her body, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She stood and felt dizzy, like someone was playing games with her head.

She walked a few steps, and finding that her legs were resisting. 

She managed to get to the top of the stairs, before having to steady herself with the banister

"What's happening?" she whispered to herself. Her hands began shaking uncontrollably, and colours flashed past her eyes. In between the reds and blues, she saw the interior of Spike's crypt through the eyes of someone in a similar situation to herself. They too were shaking. 

"Spike?" Buffy whispered as she collapsed on the landing.

++++

Spike couldn't sleep. There was no way he was going out again tonight. He'd probably walk straight into Buffy, and that'd be it. No more Spike, just a pile of dust. 

She might mourn…well, not mourn, but she certainly wouldn't leave without giving the pile of dust a second glance. Maybe a tear…

His eyes hurt. He'd cried a little. Well, a lot actually. He couldn't get into her house anymore. He was deinvited. It made him shudder to think of it.

Cigarettes were good at times like this.

He stood up, and looked around his empty crypt. They were in his duster pocket. 

A sudden wave of nausea hit him, and he staggered on his feet. The chip in his head sent out a shock, causing a throbbing in the front of his head. An image of a shaky set of stairs appeared, and hallway with doors…Buffy's house? 

Was she okay? His hand began to shudder of it's own accord, and his eyes darted wildly as shivers ripped through his body, sending him crashing to the floor

"Buffy!" he cried, as he slipped into unconsciousness.

++++

When Buffy woke again, she was laying on wet grass. Spike lay a few feet away, sprawled as if he'd been dumped there. 

Not recognising her surroundings, she crawled towards him, and shook him awake. 

"Go away…you'll wake Buffy up" he muttered, as he opened his eyes. Buffy grimaced. He'd been dreaming of her. That wasn't a good thought.

"Oh…Buffy. What's going on?" he said, standing up, and looking at the opening they were in "Where are we?"

Buffy's head snapped round to face him, and she threw her arms up

"I don't know. If I did, don't you think I'd be making an attempt to get out of here?" she snapped, feeling confused in the strangeness of the meadow they appeared to be in.

Spike backed away, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. She obviously hadn't forgotten what he'd done. He had a feeling they could be stuck together for while. There didn't look to be a way out of the grassy opening. He may as well attempt to make peace.

"Look, Buffy, I'm sorry…I did some stupid things, but I think we need to work together to-"

"No. We need to get out of here, and you need to leave me alone. That's it. Don't even talk to me unless it's 'Look, a way out', Okay?"

There was that face again. Spike turned away, his eyes becoming slightly watery. Buffy felt sorry for what she'd said, and though her heart told her to apologise, her mind overpowered her. The best thing to do would be getting out of here. 

Spike prodded at the thick foliage surrounding the small field, finding it provided a good wall. Experimentally, he ripped at the vines and roots, coming away with a handful. Seconds later they grew back, covering the hole.

"I don't think…" he started and trailed off when he remembered he wasn't supposed to be talking

Buffy turned to face him, having tried the same thing with her own handful of vines. 

"No way out. It just keeps growing. So what do we do?" Buffy hugged herself from the cold. She still had pyjamas on. Spike however had his usual outfit on.

"I guess we wait…. I have a feeling that something will happen soon"

Tentatively, he made his way to her side, and slipped his duster off his shoulders. Buffy noticed him attempt to put it around her shoulders, and stopped him.

"Please don't…I can't be going around wearing your jacket. That's not what never wanting to see you again is supposed to be"

Spike slipped it back on, and shrugged

"You look cold. I'm just trying to help," he muttered, moving to stand away from her.

Buffy heard and stepped in front of him

"You chained me up. You threatened to let Dru kill me. Somehow, I'm having bad feelings about that. You just proved to me, that you are an evil vampire. I should just stake you and be done with it. But I think I'm going to need help here. So you remain non dusty" Buffy spat out. 

Spike thought her words sounded forced, as if she didn't want to say them. Silently, he nodded, and continued moving away from her. 

Eventually, he sat down at the base of a tree, and lit up a cigarette. Buffy herself sat down on the dewy grass, and hugged her knees. 

Just as she became engrossed in a slight rocking motion she'd started to keep warm, a cold wind blew from the south, bringing a blue cloud of smoke with it. The smoke seemed to hang in the air, a miasma of swirling blues, examining the surroundings. Eventually, it poured into the form of a man.

Buffy caught a glimpse of Spike's unimpressed expression through the smoke.

The resulting figure was 6 foot tall, with shoulder length brown hair. His clothing was a distinctly unmystical pair of jeans and a sweater. Buffy eyed him warily, as he approached her.

"I'm Eros. Son of Aphrodite. Well, not exactly. That's what my name means…how are you? I am terribly sorry we left you here alone, and confused. My sister is the very spirit of vanity. It takes her hours to pick out a dress. I'm afraid I got quite angry with her, and left early. She should be here soon"

Buffy just stared at him, noticing he didn't sound sure what to say.

As she stared a cloud of red, moved in from the north, bringing a rush of warm air their way. 

The smoke didn't pause and simply formed into a woman next to her brother.

Her hair hung in long ringlets down her back, a fiery red colour. She wore a red shift dress, and looked…a lot like Glory.

"I assume Eros filled you in" she said, quickly, nodding at Buffy and turning to smile appreciatively at Spike "Good lord…you're Spike I assume. Eros, he's like a walking statue" The woman turned to her brother, and widened her eyes impressed with Spike. Eros simply smiled back seemingly humouring her.

Spike flashed her a smile as she turned around to face him again.

"'ello luv…who might you be?" he replied, his voice becoming the low purr that turned many women into puddles. The woman was cooler than most, and simply raised an eyebrow, smiling devilishly at him.

"I'd be Kerensa" she replied. Her voice held a tone of confidence. 

Eros and Buffy watched as the woman stared fascinated at Spike. He looked positively stunned by the attention she was giving him, and Buffy had to stop herself pulling the woman away.

"Is she always like this?" Buffy whispered to the man next to her. Eros shook his head

"It would appear Kerensa is rather taken with Spike," he said, watching Buffy's expression change. She appeared to be jealous "As is someone else, I see" He finished silently.

"Excuse me lady…if you could stop invading Spike's personal space for just a moment" Kerensa turned and regarded Buffy with annoyance. 

Spike looked at Buffy with surprise. He could have sworn he could hear envy in her voice

"Yes, of course. You'd like to know why you're here…well, simply put, Eros and I decided to send you on a journey"

Eros shook his head

"Kerensa, you know that's not what happened. You decided to come here. I don't want to do this"

"Oh Eros…brother. You know what I want to do here is right. The good thing to do. You know it is…"

Buffy and Spike looked at each other and both rolled their eyes together.

"Please…can you just tell us what's going on?" Buffy sighed

Eros cleared his throat

"My sister is of the opinion that Spike is misunderstood…that he deserves a chance to love you"

Buffy groaned

"He chained me up! I don't want him to love me! He's a vampire!" Buffy shouted, as Spike looked at Kerensa with suspicion

"That's what I told her, my dear. I explained this. But my sister is strong willed. Believe me, though I will help her, I am completely in agreement with you. Honestly, what a way to treat a lady. I'm used to chocolates and flowers. He seems to favour chains" Eros sighed, and fixed Spike with a glare. 

Spike raised an eyebrow back at him. An imaginary line had been drawn. Spike and Kerensa stood on one side, and Eros and Buffy on the other.

"Now now Eros. It's not nice to influence the subjects to your way of thinking" Kerensa chided. Spike gave her a grin

"I like you…you're on my side. Not too many pretty women are on my side lately" Spike bit his bottom lip, in a way he knew women loved, and Kerensa's eyes widened once more. She really was smitten with this vampire. 

"Does he really think flirting with her is going to make me jealous?" Buffy whispered to her representative, with very obvious jealousy in her voice

Eros ignored her, instead choosing to watch the vampire who had practically stolen his sister's heart

"You know…Spike, I think maybe I want you for myself. Let Buffy continue her pretence. Let her continue telling herself she has no feelings for you, and I can have fun fun fun with you…I don't mind chains, really" Kerensa licked her lips, and Spike grinned to himself. Buffy's eyes practically jumped out of her head. 

"Kerensa!" Eros shouted, "Would you please show some professionalism? It's getting to be quite embarrassing"

Kerensa turned back to him and waved her hand dismissively

"Quiet you" she complained at Eros

"It's very nice of you too suggest, pet, but really, whether she likes it or not, I love Buffy" Spike looked meaningfully at Buffy who couldn't resist a triumphant sneer at Kerensa's back. The sneer quickly turned into disgust as she looked at Spike, once again unable to accept his feelings. 

"Oh very well…So we will send you on a journey. I have a wager with Eros that Buffy, you do indeed have feelings for Spike" Kerensa continued her explanation

"And I believe that Spike is wrong for what he did, and that he shouldn't be forgiven. You deserve better" Eros finished

"Hey! I object to that…" Spike said. 

Buffy, however, had stepped away from Eros

"You're using us to settle a bet?" she asked, in disbelief "That's ridiculous. You can't make us do anything we don't want to"

Eros lowered his head, and Kerensa rolled her eyes

"Buffy, darling, I can do whatever I like. I am powerful. You've tried to escape and failed. You have no choice. You either stay here, in this field with no food and with a creature you claim to loathe, and die…or you go on our little trip and get home," Kerensa threatened. Spike made his way beside Buffy, and shook his head at the woman.

"You…I mean, you're very nice and all, but I really think you should let Buffy go. I'd rather she wasn't forced to go on this little trip, and for you to be right. If she does have feelings, I'd rather she realised them without any hocus pocus" Spike nodded for emphasis, and he caught Buffy's small smile out of the corner of his eye.

Kerensa shook her head

"Spike, nothing about this would be forced. She wouldn't be forced to feel anything. I can't just let you out now. You either comply with our wishes or die. It's that simple"

Buffy glanced at Eros, who simply moved beside his sister, showing his allegiance. 

The slayer turned away from them and signalled for Spike to come closer

"We have to go," she whispered, earning a nod from Spike

"I guess. I mean, how bad can it be?" he asked uncertainly. It could very well be terrible. 

Buffy straightened up and looked Kerensa straight in the eyes.

"We'll go then"

Kerensa glanced at Eros, before clapping her hands together, and bouncing on the spot. 

"Oh wonderful! You'll visit some places…and people that may be scary, or distressing. But I urge you, and it is of utmost importance, that you do not attempt to make contact with anyone. Let it take its course. You may change things a great deal should you try"

Eros looked up and smiled

"Do not worry about clothing, Buffy. I took the liberty of finding you some on the way. You'll be changed when you arrive at your first destination"

Eros smiled reassuringly at Buffy, and indicated they should link hands. Buffy sighed, and grasped Spike's hand awkwardly. He held hers back, and they shot each other a worried glance. Eros stepped back and allowed Kerensa to perform whatever magicks were required.

"a lua pe ei la spre lor destin" Kerensa chanted, raising her hands high above her head, bringing them together to hold a ball of light "Acum!"

Blowing Spike a kiss, she fired the ball towards them, and they vanished in a blast of colours.

Eros raised an eyebrow

"You didn't need the ball of light trick, Kerensa" he sighed, as he morphed into his smoke form.

"Of course I did…makes the whole thing more dramatic" 

TBC…

   [1]: http://www.441creative.com/jo
   [2]: mailto:harmony@441creative.com



	2. Patriarch

Taking Time : Patriarch

Series: Taking Time

Title: Patriarch

Author: Harmony

Rating: PG-13 

Description: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever.

Pairing: B/S 

Disclaimer: The characters are merely my puppets for the day. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy are head puppeteer guys. They pull the strings.

Distribution: Free Again ([http://www.441creative.com/jo][1]) and anyone else I've given permission to. If you want it, e-mail me: [harmony@441creative.com][2]

Feedback: Imagine a world without shrimp. Well, I really like shrimp. Feedback is my shrimp. 

Dedications: Well…my family as usual. And you know what? James Marsters, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Cos they create these characters for me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

With a sick thud, Spike landed on the rain soaked cobbles. Seconds later, seemingly from nowhere, Buffy fell onto him. 

They stayed that way for a minute, getting their bearings, before Buffy jumped up. 

"Stupid dumb smoke people" she muttered to herself, brushing down her clothing, and not bothering to offer Spike a hand up.

Sighing, he stood up, and discreetly looked Buffy over, checking she was okay from her fall.

A white shirt, and a skirt, that brushed the damp stones beneath her feet, replaced her pyjamas.

"Somehow, I knew it…that Klenser woman…made me look like a librarian!" 

Spike brushed himself off, and looked around 

"Her name was Kerensa," he said. Buffy glared at the back of his head

"Oh yes of course, you two might well have had sex…it wouldn't have been as embarrassing to watch"

Spike suppressed a smile. She really was jealous of something.

"Someone's got a case of the green eyed monster…so Slayer, tell me, have you ever wanted to go to Ireland?"

"I am not jealous… and no. I've never wanted to go to Ireland" Buffy sighed

Spike looked around fascinated, and wondered for a minute if Buffy would let him have a beer in the tavern. 

"Well, you're in Ireland…late 1700's I'd say" Spike started off, his eyes twinkling as he stood outside the opening of an alleyway.

+++

_"Angelus…I love you…you know that?" Spike slurred, leaning on the arm of his mentor. They staggered, holding one another up_

_"Aye my boy…I love you too" Angel fell to the floor, his face in a small puddle. _

_Spike's amusement started as a small giggle, and developed into a drunken laugh; as he bent down to pick Angel up._

_"Ange'us, you'll never find supper down there," he said through his giggles. The whisky bottle slipped from his grasp, and shattered on the floor._

_"William, it's good to be home," Angel muttered, bringing his head up. Half his face was covered with mud, and Spike began to laugh again, as he tried to wipe away the mess with his sleeve. _

_Spike and Angelus had insisted on dragging Drusilla and Darla back to Galway, to celebrate Spike's 10 years as a vampire, for a good old fashioned bar crawl. The women had gone hunting together, whilst they went out with little intention other than to get amazingly drunk._

_Angelus made his way to his feet, and adjusted his clothing_

_"Food, William?" he said, attempting to sound sober and failing._

_Spike pulled the bottle from Angelus' hand and downed the remainders. _

_Angel stalked away, spotting two women walking by the alleyway they were partially hidden in._

_Spike followed, eventually falling into step with the older vampire_

_Angelus' calm face belied any of his true intent as he tapped the fair-haired woman on the shoulder. Spike positioned himself in front of the other blonde haired girl._

_"Excuse me…I was wondering where we could find a bed for the night?" Angelus asked. _

_Spike wrapped an arm around the blonde woman's waist and pulled her flush. Too scared to scream, she simply gasped, as Spike led her back into the alleyway. Angelus followed with his catch, choosing the much more subtle looped arms approach._

_"You're scared" Spike asked his girl. Angelus watched over his shoulder and giggled, drunkenly_

_"Stupid question, my boy" he laughed, stroking his meals hair._

_"Shall we dine, Angelus, you big poof?" Spike asked, as his vamp face came to the surface. _

_With a small growl, Angel followed suit, and smiled at Spike_

_"We'll dine, you…" Angelus searched for an insult "bad poet" he finished with a giggle_

_Simultaneously, the two male vampires sunk their fangs into the necks of the woman, making hungry feeding noises. They were none too gentle with the girls, as they drained their life, in an overtly sexual manner. _

_Dropping the dead bodies, Angelus and Spike stood facing each other for a few seconds, before Spike pulled another bottle of whisky from his coat._

_"Mine tasted strange" Spike started off, stumbling on an invisible rock. _

"Like Beer" Angelus finished, steadying himself against the wall 

+++

Buffy followed behind as Spike walked off, occasionally laughing at memories that she'd rather not hear about.

"So Slayer, what do you think you'll feel like at the end of all this?" Spike asked, leaning against the wall of the tavern he'd spotted earlier. 

Buffy sniffed, and felt around in her pockets for weapons. She had none. Not even a concealed stake.

"I think I'll work out a way to keep you out of anywhere I happen to be" she said, still checking for weapons should they run into trouble.

"You will have to learn to be nice for the sake of getting home, Buffy. A little politeness wouldn't be too much to ask would it?" Spike gazed longingly at the tavern door. He could really do with a beer. 

"How polite was anything you did in recent memory?" she snapped back

"I apologised" he retorted. As she was about to inform him of the uselessness of his apologies, the door swung open, and two men practically fell out, not aided by the proprietor of the tavern pushing them. 

"Keep the girls warm!" a thick Irish accent shouted. Spike's eyes widened, and a broad smile came across his face. Buffy watched as the longhaired man dropped his obviously inebriated friend, and began to bang on the door. When he got no answer, he made his way back to his fallen friend and lifted him up. They started off unsteadily, holding one another up. 

"Come on. We'll sneak in and take some o' me fathers silver" the taller of the two men said, "He'll never miss it. Eats with his hands, the pig"

Spike turned to face Buffy with the smile still firmly in place. Her face was registering something resembling recognition and denial. That voice was oddly familiar. 

"Is…is..that Angel?" she whispered, immediately feeling stupid for asking.

"It's the Angel I remember," he muttered, following the two men. Buffy followed, feeling more lost than Spike did. 

Angel's friend fell down onto the pavement, unable to continue. Angel simply watched him fall

"Ah, why don't you rest right here?" he mumbled. 

Spike jumped back as Angel turned around. Buffy gave him a confused look, and followed suit, slinking into the shadows.

"Why are you hiding?" she whispered, as Spike watched from the shadows. 

"If Angelus sees me…don't step on creepy crawlies" he replied. 

"Excuse me while I say huh?" she quipped

Spike watched Angel walk in the direction of an alleyway. 

"You know…you shouldn't step on creepy crawlies, cos it could change history. Similarly, if Angelus sees me now, he might stop and not do something that hey, could result in your not being born"

Wanting to investigate further, Spike grabbed Buffy's arm to lead her across the street to the back alley. Buffy however cleared her throat. 

"Spike…bodily contact" she sniffed. Spike looked down at his arm, and dropped it immediately. 

"Well come on then" he urged, walking off across the street. 

Buffy watched him go, and took a deep breath. This was going to be a lot tougher than she imagined. She was in a strange place she didn't know, with a vampire she didn't want to know, seeing her ex boyfriend drunk, acting in a manner that did not resemble the man she'd fallen in love with. 

Sighing, she wandered across the street, and took place beside Spike behind a beer barrel. 

From here they could see Angel stalking a noblewoman with blonde hair, and a white dress. 

"Is he going to kill her?" Buffy asked, fear in her voice. It occurred to her then, that she'd never seen Angelus kill anyone. She'd only experienced the disastrous after effects. Her chest felt tight whenever she thought of Jenny.

With a sigh, Spike shook his head

"This isn't that Angel I remember at all. This would be hairgel pre vamp. He told me about this. Darla sired him in an alleyway" Spike clarified, as the woman turned around to face Angel, revealing herself as Darla. 

"Are you certain you're up to the challenge?" she purred coquettishly. 

Buffy almost snorted with laughter

"Oh please…it's wicked obvious that she's a vampire" she said, quietening as Spike raised a finger to his mouth.

Angel however, walked towards Darla. They both stalked each other in different ways. Angel looking for another woman to add to his list, and Darla looking for a companion. 

"M'lady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest days work, there's no challenge I'm not prepared to face" Angel came to a stop in front of the seemingly shy woman "Oh, but you're a pretty thing. Where are you from?"

Buffy felt a pang tug at her heart. Was it wrong to feel jealous about something that happened 200 years before you were born? As she watched Angel and Darla openly flirt, she felt exactly that. This was her poetry reading, brooding, loving ex? 

"Around, everywhere" Darla replied with a smile

"I've never been anywhere myself. Always wanted to see the world, but-"

Darla cut him off, her eyes sparkling

"I could show you" her voice remained full of mystery, and sexuality. 

"Could you then?"

Buffy seemed to realise something, and began looking around the alleyway, wildly. Spike caught her movements, and reluctantly tore his eyes away from Darla's seduction.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"I have to kill her…I have to save him," she said, close to tears. 

"What? No you don't" Spike replied, grabbing her arm again, as she spotted a plank of wood lying on the ground. 

"If he doesn't become a vampire…you wouldn't understand. He was so unhappy" Buffy's protests became flustered.

"It is…and frightening" Darla said.

Spike turned back for a second, annoyed to have missed some of what he thought was a damn good show. Popcorn wouldn't be out of place.

"Buffy, you can't kill Darla. If she never sires Angel then he never sires Dru, and then I don't get turned" Spike gripped the arm a little tighter, so she was just out of reach of the wood. His chip didn't seem to be activating.

"Explain the badness in your not living, Spike. You don't understand…you don't. He lived in torment because of all he did when he became a vampire. He had nightmares. I can't let that happen again"

Buffy reached out with her boot, and flicked the wood into the air, catching it in her hand.

"I'm not afraid…show me. Show me your world" Angel spoke, oblivious to the argument going on in the shadows.

Spike struggled to hold on, as Buffy tried to get away.

"Buffy! You can't. Never mind me. If I never get turned, then fine. But you kill her now, and Angel stays like he is now. A drunk, womanising possibly criminal loser. I hate to say it, but that is lower than the gigantic poof he is now. And as soon as you stick that through her heart, every memory you ever had of him will die, just like that"

Buffy calmed down now, and ripped her arm away from Spike's grip. She didn't move to kill Darla, instead stood watching the scene unfold with tears running down her face.

"Close your eyes" Darla ordered, closing hers as an example. Angel complied, and she sunk her now sharp teeth into his neck. Buffy choked back a sob as he gasped in pain, and fell to his knees. 

Darla drank some more, before standing and drawing a nail across the top of her breast. 

Spike had never seen a turning from the outside before. He'd never even turned someone before. Normally he'd drink and leave the swapping blood part to Dru. It wasn't his type of thing. He got a feeling he shouldn't be watching. It was a private moment. 

Spike turned away, and let Buffy watch. She didn't know about vampire turning. Maybe it would help her think of it as something other than "trading up on the food chain"

Darla pressed Angel's mouth to the blood, and watched him drink as she sank to her knees. 

Buffy stormed past Spike, giving him a glare that told him one more word would result in a stake to the chest.

---

"Buffy, you can't possibly be thinking of blaming me for that" Spike shouted, as he ran after her. 

"I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking" Buffy replied, whirling to face him "I think I have just watched the love of my life become a monster…_again_"

Spike winced. She'd aimed the monster part at him.

"Come on pet…I wasn't the one doing the biting" he pleaded as she started off again. 

"Don't call me that. I am not your pet. I told you…you just don't understand. Now I'm going to find somewhere to sleep, because I'm really tired"

Spike threw his hands up, and followed her. He wasn't sure where she was heading.

"Where can we sleep?" he asked

"I don't care where you sleep. I'm going to find an inn, or something" she sighed. 

Spike shrugged, and walked a few steps behind her, giving her space. 

After a few minutes, she looked up at a building.

"Look, when you were told not to make contact with anyone, did it translate as make contact with as many people as possible?" Spike asked, as she ignored him and walked into the building advertising rooms. A small bell above the door heralded her arrival. 

"Yes? What can I do for you?" the owner, a small matronly woman asked, popping up from behind a door. 

Spike rolled his eyes. She really was stubborn. 

"I'd like a room, please" she asked, fixing a smile on her face.

"We have only the one available…" the owner replied.

Buffy groaned under her breath. She didn't think she could stand a night with Spike. 

"That's…fine, Thankyou…but I'm afraid we don't have anything to pay you"

Spike checked his pockets, and shrugged. 

As the owner fixed Buffy with an annoyed look, Spike stepped up beside Buffy, and put his arm around her

"We're terribly sorry. My wife and I…we were robbed. Maybe we could work for our room?" Spike flashed the woman a smile.

Buffy smiled nervously, and the owner's face softened.

"Well, dear… you could owe me" she replied "I'm Mrs Catton, call me Sarah. I'll get your key, so you can sleep. You must have been through a terrible time"

"Oh…yes Thankyou" Buffy smiled again. As soon as Sarah disappeared, Buffy turned to Spike with a glare.

"Wife? I'm not your wife. I wouldn't marry you if my life depended on it. I hate you. Not only am I stuck here, but you insist on making my life a misery while it's happening" Buffy turned away and began to look at pictures on the wall. 

Spike just worked hard to contain a smile. Mr and Mrs Buffy Summers, he thought with a grin. 

Sarah came back, holding a key.

"Straight up the stairs, and it's the first door on the left. If you could sign the guest book?"

Buffy took the key, and started up the stairs

"Would you take care of that, _darling_?" she said, as she disappeared out of sight.

Spike turned back to Sarah, and smiled. 

All thoughts of changing history long gone, Spike took a pen, and in flowing handwriting signed their name.

"Mr and Mrs Summers"

---

When Spike walked into the room, Buffy lay on one side of the double bed, with her hands behind her head. She didn't acknowledge his presence.

She looked to be extremely angry at a crack in the ceiling. 

Spike slipped his jacket off and threw it onto a chair. 

"I'm sorry about the wife thing," he muttered, pulling his t-shirt out of the waistband of his jeans. 

"S'okay" she replied. Spike shook his head, thinking he'd heard wrong.

She turned her focus to him, as he reached for a pillow. 

Silently, he threw it onto the floor, preparing a bed for himself. Really, he was so wired he doubted he could sleep. He'd just travelled through time. A big thing really. The sun had just begun to creep into the sky. It was early…or late.

Curiously, he looked about the room, and spotted a bookshelf, with a couple of well read books in them.

"You don't mind if I…uh, read, do you?" he asked, picking up a book. Buffy turned at a sizzling sound. Spike dropped the book, in pain, and twisted his head to read the cover.

"The holy bible…" he muttered "There you go, Summers. Add that to your vamp deterrent list"

Buffy hid a smile and went back to glaring at the ceiling. 

Spotting a copy of the Connaught Journal on the small table beside the bed, he opted to read that instead. No fear of burns there. 

Spike settled back into the armchair, and flicked the paper open. Buffy turned to shout at him, for making too much noise, when she noticed he was squinting at the page. 

She watched him bring the paper closer to his face, and shake his head over words he obviously couldn't read.

"I never knew you were illiterate," she teased, rolling onto her side. She could go back to hating him in the morning. For now, his inability to read the newspaper was just too adorable.

"I'm not bloody illiterate" he replied, closing the paper, and setting it down "I'll have you know I can read perfectly well"

Buffy raised an eyebrow

"Oh really? What's with the squinting? Do you need glasses?" 

"No!" he replied, a little too quickly "Of course I don't. Have I ever worn glasses? No. So I don't need glasses"

Buffy just shrugged and rolled onto her back again. Spike eyed her warily before sliding out of the armchair and down onto the floor. 

His blonde head popped up over the edge of the comforter, and his hand pulled at the neck of his t-shirt. Buffy's eyes widened as he pulled the shirt off, and she rolled to face away from him. Half naked Spike wasn't good. 

"G'night then" he said, as he lay down again. Buffy mumbled a goodnight in response. 

Neither slept, instead staring ahead of them. Spike eyed the wooden furniture in the room, hoping Buffy wouldn't stake him in his sleep, and Buffy worried she'd wake up in chains again. 

"Spike?" she whispered to the deathly quiet room

"Hmm?" 

"Where is Angel now?" 

"In Los Angeles" he replied, the "duh" tone evident in his voice. 

"No…I mean now. Here in Ireland"

"Oh. Well…very much dead. I think Darla took him to wherever she was staying and waited for him to rise. He always talked about waking up on a table," Spike laughed a little at the memory. Buffy still sounded distraught by not being able, or allowed, to help Angel.

"Oh" she replied, "He used to scream"

Spike wrinkled his nose in confusion

"Who did?"

"Angel…in his sleep. When I slept next to him, he'd cry out names, and wake up shaking…" Buffy sniffed back tears. Spike wasn't sure what he should do, but he'd never felt more compelled to hold her. 

"I'd imagine he did…"

"He called for Drusilla sometimes" Buffy heard a deep breath coming from the floor "I think it was because she was his biggest crime…you know?"

Buffy heard a muffled "yes" coming from Spike, and decided to stop the conversation

"The sun's coming up" she said, looking out at the rose coloured sky. 

"Yeah"

The bed had been pushed against the windowless wall, and Spike was sleeping right in the way of any light that should shine through.

Buffy got up with a sigh, and shut the curtains. He watched her, and caught her eye as she slid back into bed. It wasn't much, but to Spike she might as well have kissed him. She'd closed the curtains so he wouldn't be hurt. Even after everything he did. 

"No problem" she replied. 

Spike fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

TBC…

   [1]: http://www.441creative.com/jo
   [2]: mailto:harmony@441creative.com



	3. Maddening Part 1

Taking Time : Maddening Part 1

Series: Taking Time

Title: Maddening Part 1

Author: Harmony

Rating: PG-13 

Description: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever.

Pairing: B/S 

Disclaimer: The characters are merely my puppets for the day. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy are head puppeteer guys. They pull the strings.

Distribution: Free Again ([http://www.441creative.com/jo][1]) and anyone else I've given permission to. If you want it, e-mail me: [harmony@441creative.com][2]

Feedback: Imagine a world without shrimp. Well, I really like shrimp. Feedback is my shrimp. 

Dedications: Well…my family as usual. And you know what? James Marsters, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Cos they create these characters for me.

Authors notes : "Maddening" turned out longer than I expected. So it's been split into two parts.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike woke up without opening his eyes. He lay for a while, just savouring the last remnants of sleep. 

He was warm. He hadn't felt warm in a long time. 

As the last yawn died away, his senses became alert, and he could hear a heartbeat, and steady level breathing. 

Rubbing his eyes, he sat up, and looked over into the bed to see Buffy asleep, with her hands under her head, acting as a pillow. 

He was still on the floor. 

As he stood up, he noticed the window had swapped walls. It was now on the wall behind him, as opposed to next to him. In fact, the whole room had changed. The bedding was a blue; instead of the lacy pink it had been when he fell asleep. 

Debating whether to wake Buffy, he pulled his t-shirt back on.

Unsure of the new layout of the room, he tripped over a chair, sending it, and himself clattering noisily to the floor

"Bloody Hell" he muttered, seeing Buffy stretch her arms above her head

"Spike…jeez. Keep it down" she yawned, as she opened her eyes and blinked sleep away. 

"Sorry…it seems the room was changed in the night. I tripped over this chair" Spike shrugged. Buffy sat up, and stared at the new room.

"Ohhh-kay. What's going on? What did you do?" Buffy slid out of bed, and straightened her clothing. 

"Me?" Spike sighed. The pleasant almost caring Buffy of the night before was replaced by the grudge holding Spike hating Buffy he knew and loved "I assume the smoky siblings did some mojo on us" he finished, pulling his duster on.

Buffy ignored him, and pulled open the curtains. A burst of sunlight flooded the room, and Spike jumped back, pulling his duster up over his head

"Close the sodding curtain. I'll burn! Close the-hey…not sizzling" Spike's head popped out of the coat, and Buffy rolled her eyes

"Oh great. Fireproof Spike" Buffy sighed, leaning on the windowsill

"Oh great, attitude Buffy" Spike muttered, glaring at the back of her head. Buffy turned at the bounce of the bedsprings as Spike launched himself onto it. He ended up on his stomach, with his arms holding his head up.

"Don't jump on furniture, Spike. We haven't got money to pay for stuff if you break it" Buffy spoke as if scolding a child. Spike responded in kind, sticking his tongue out at her

"So where are we, history guy?" Buffy asked, pointing to the street below. A different street to the one they'd come from the night before. 

Horses and carts milled around, stopping to pick up important looking men and women. Flower sellers offered roses to passing couples. The whole place looked like something from the front of a Christmas card.

"London. My hometown" Spike said, quietly, suddenly enraptured by the street. Buffy watched a smile spread across his face. 

"What horrific vampiric act are we going to see today then?" Buffy stood up, and prepared to leave the room.

"I don't know. Angelus and Darla spent a lot of time in London. Could be anything. You want to go now, or should we wait? Maybe have a bit of breakfast?" Spike changed position so his head lay on the pillow. 

Buffy rolled her eyes

"We have no money. Those freaks back in that field didn't think we needed to eat apparently"

Spike nodded, and smiled innocently

"We don't have to eat…you could…lay down, and we could…think of another way to waste time" Spike bit his lip, and widened his eyes in a suggestive manner. Buffy stared at him, incredulous. He really was in a good mood. 

"Either you have a death wish, or you think being in a strange place has made me lose all my inhibitions…" Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled on her shoes.

"Well, have you? Lost your inhibitions?" Spike smiled with mock hope, and Buffy grabbed the pencil lying on the notepad that had been provided with the room.

"I am in dire need of a good slaying, Spike…want to help me with that?" Buffy twirled the makeshift stake in her hand, and came dangerously close to the t-shirt clad chest. 

"You'd never do it" Spike complained, sulkily, before springing to his feet, and disappearing out of the door.

Buffy just stood staring at the space he'd occupied. He was driving her insane. It was then that it occurred to her how difficult it was to hate him. When she'd been tired, not in the mood to argue, and they'd actually talked, that was easy. It was pleasant. Now she remembered why she was angry with him, it was difficult again. She had to try not to laugh at the comments he made, and the smile that lit up his face when he saw London. Yeah…this was tough.

---

Joyce rubbed her eyes as she walked sleepily out of her bedroom, feeling the need for a late night glass of juice.

In her slumber induced daze, she almost tripped over the body lying at the top of the stairs.

"Dawn!" she shouted, dropping to her knees beside the unconscious form of her daughter

Joyce spoke quickly, frantically, attempting to wake her "Buffy, can you hear me?" 

Dawn came running out of her bedroom, fearing her mother had fallen with another headache. Instead she found her shaking Buffy gently, trying to wake her…what was Buffy doing asleep on the landing anyway?

"What is it? What's wrong with Buffy?" Worry filled the teens voice, and Joyce touched Buffy's face.

"Go…get the phone, call Mr Giles" Joyce moved back a little, and watched her oldest daughters face contort in her comatose state. Her brow wrinkled, as if she was worried about something. 

Dawn shakily pushed the memory button. An ambulance might be better…but this was the hellmouth, and her perfectly healthy sister was lying on the top of the stairs. Giles was like a supernatural doctor.

"Hello?" a voice answered. Giles sounded as if he'd been awake for hours

"Giles…it's Buffy, she's…you have to come…now" Dawn stammered into the phone. 

"On my way" The phone cut off seconds later, and Dawn ran back to her mother's side.

"What's wrong with her, Mom?" she asked, watching as the troubled expression left Buffy's face, and was replaced by a straight almost contented face.

"I don't know, honey…She's warm. I don't know"

Joyce wrapped an arm protectively around Dawn, and they waited for the doorbell heralding Giles' arrival.

It seemed like only minutes before he arrived.

---

Buffy caught up with Spike, waiting for her on the street below. She'd figured out that she'd have to avoid the owner of this particular place. Money would become a real problem.

"Where to?" Buffy asked Spike, as they walked along. The librarian attire actually made her look like she was one of the Londoners that bustled around. The only way she stood out was by the man walking alongside her in jeans, leather and bleached hair.

"I don't know what marvellous sight they have cooked up for us today. Best to find out the date…" 

Buffy let him take charge. She had no clue where she was.

"A newspaper?" Buffy suggested. Spike gave her a nod, and looked around. He spotted something in the distance, and headed towards it

A grubby looking boy, about 10 held up a newspaper, calling out for customers. 

Spike gave him a smile

"Can I look at this?" he asked, politely, and the boy nodded, giving Spike a strange look. Buffy giggled. He did look really out of place.

Spike pointed to a date in the corner on the broadsheet, and handed it to Buffy. 

"This is the date?" Buffy asked. She missed the roll of Spike's eyes. He was having difficulty reading again, and was hoping she'd read it out, so he wouldn't have to ask her. The print on these papers was small.

"What is it?" he asked, as if prompting her to remember something from her Giles study sessions.

"6th January, 1860" she read, before scanning the page.

The newspaper boy just stared at them

"Oh look…three bodies found…mysterious markings. Police suspect wild animals" Buffy read from a small story at the bottom of a page. 

Buffy gave the newspaper boy a smile and handed the paper back, before running to catch up with Spike, who'd walked away.

"Vamps?" she whispered, not wanting to attract attention of the people around her. 

"Vamps" Spike nodded in response "Two specific vamps. Darla and Angelus made quite a name for themselves around this time. They killed whole boroughs of London. While doing other evil things to innocent girls…" Spike trailed off. His tone was unreadable. 

"What do you mean innocent girls?" Buffy asked.

"Like Drusilla. 1860 was the year Angelus killed her family, and drove her insane. When he turned her…" Spike's voice showed no emotion. His face remained calm. Buffy couldn't tell how he felt about this, or the possibility of seeing this. She only knew that she felt sick to her stomach. She didn't want to watch the monster that had her love's face do that to anyone.

"I don't want to see that" she whispered, her stomach suddenly feeling tight "Do you?"

Spike glanced at her sideways

"I don't know. We might not have a choice" Spike suddenly clapped his hands together and smiled his usual smile. Buffy couldn't help but think he was hiding something. That he was more distressed than he was letting on "What say we go find some food?" he declared cheerily. 

"How?" Buffy asked, really not wanting to eat. She'd had nightmares about what Angelus had done to people. Witnessing it first hand would be horrible.

"I know a few tricks…flirting with barmaids being one…stealing being another" Spike grinned as Buffy raised her eyebrow

"I want no part of either" she said "Let's split up…I'll go for a walk, and pretend I don't know you are stealing things and you go get food. Meet back here in half an hour"

Without waiting for an answer, Buffy walked away, not really knowing where she was heading. Spike waited until she was out of sight before clutching his head in his hands. 

He felt sick to the stomach too…

---

Buffy watched from behind a stationery horse and cart. Spike stood holding his head, for a minute before starting off, looking more distressed than she'd ever seen him.

The only time he'd ever been that upset before was when she deinvited him. He looked lost…like a little boy. 

When he disappeared around a corner, she came out of hiding, and wandered through the streets. London really was very pretty. She'd read about slums and the like, but she was in a wealthy part of London. 

Buffy had hoped to see some sights, but daren't wander too far from their meeting place. Instead, she turned off onto a side street, planning to come in a circle. 

The narrow street was dark, despite the bright day. The roofs jutted out into the street, providing a shade from the sun.

Somewhere ahead of her, a side door opened, and a woman walked out. Dressed in plain black and white, with an apron, Buffy guessed she worked for the wealthy occupants of the home. 

The girl emptied a bucket of dirty water onto the street, and watched it flow down beside the pavement, a small river. 

Buffy got closer, and the girl turned to face the owner of the footsteps. 

Buffy's breath caught as she came face to face with Drusilla.

The dark haired girl looked different. Plumper than she was as a vampire, and the wild lost look was gone from her eyes. She had a glow to her skin. 

But she stared at Buffy, as if she were a ghost.

"You" she muttered, holding a finger up. She pointed at Buffy, with horror on her face "I saw you…My Mum told me to ignore it…but you were there. And a man. You, I saw it"

Buffy wondered if she should speak to her as Drusilla, or just a girl she just met on the street.

"I'm sorry…I don't understand what you mean" Buffy came to a stop two feet away from Drusilla. 

"Please don't hurt me" Drusilla backed away, as Buffy stood helplessly. She was completely unrecognisable from the vampire who'd killed Kendra. She couldn't hold that against her. It was then she lost all grip on the black and white theory. This Drusilla was pure, innocent. The Drusilla she knew better was an evil killer. 

"I'm not going to hurt you…I promise…I…I have to go"

Buffy took off running in the direction she'd come, looking back once to see Drusilla disappear back into the house.

---

"Buffy!"

Giles shouted, trying to wake his slayer up. He got no response, but she moved her head to the side. 

"Is she in a coma?" Dawn asked, her innocence displayed perfectly.

Buffy had been moved into her room, and her mother stood wringing her hands at the end of the bed. 

"I don't believe she is. I believe this is supernatural. Willow, can you contact her?"

Willow, who had been called after Giles arrived, knelt beside Buffy and looked at the closed eyes.

"I think she's on a different plane…unconscious to us, but very much alive elsewhere. Almost like a trance, maybe"

Willow reached into her bag, and set up five candles around herself and Buffy. 

"Sorry Joyce, I have to spread sand around" Willow smiled apologetically.

Joyce smiled back. Willow was always so thoughtful. 

Turquoise coloured sand formed a circle around Slayer and witch, and she looked up once again.

"I'm going to try a spell. I'll enter Buffy's subconscious" Willow paused and thought for a second "hopefully" she finished. 

"Well, do you need anything?" Giles asked looking at the candles and thinking it couldn't be that simple.

"Just silence…I need you to go downstairs while I do this"

Giles nodded, and guided the Summer's women out of the room. Joyce gave Buffy a final look, and closed the door.

Willow sat cross-legged on the end of the bed, and took deep breaths to focus herself. She wasn't so confident about this. All she had to do was concentrate on Buffy. Just as she thought about checking the spell book again, there was a flash and she felt herself jolted. 

She was now standing in a bright room. Cream walls, with matching red furniture. Not like any place she'd been before. A noise caught her attention, and she walked towards it. 

Someone was behind a door, being violently sick. 

"Hello? Are you okay?" Willow called, rapping on the door with her knuckles.

As she waited for an answer, she noticed the clock on the wall. The hands moved backwards faster than they should have been moving. 

"Will? Wait, I'll be out in a minute"

Willow watched a picture on the wall. Buffy, and Spike stood in her garden at night, kissing. It brought a smile to her face. They looked so in love. As the clock hands moved, the picture changed. Buffy and Spike moved apart. They went from kissing, to hugging, to holding hands, to posing next to each other. The final image Willow saw before Buffy came out of the room was Buffy glaring at Spike, who leant against a tree with a cigarette in his hand. 

"Buffy, what happened here?" Willow asked her friend, as she turned away from the picture.

"Oh…you know" Buffy pushed past her, and brought her fingers up to the glass of the photo. She ran a digit over the Buffy in the picture "I can't believe I never saw it before. I should invite him back in"

Willow looked down at the clothing Buffy wore. A lacy grey vest, and black jeans. 

"Invite who? Spike?" Willow watched as Buffy changed the picture again. The picture changed again to the original kiss. 

Buffy indicated for Willow to follow her, and they walked into the garden. A different Buffy, wearing white, passed them, and walked into the house. Willow watched from the grass as White Buffy sighed and moved the picture again. Now Spike was leaning against the tree again.

Grey Buffy and Willow walked around the garden, and the Wicca noticed flowers growing backwards. A rose closed up into a bud, and soon disappeared into the ground. 

"Why are things moving backwards?" Willow asked, looking at the soil where the rose had been. Buffy shrugged

"It's what I'm doing. I went backwards…" Buffy looked as if she was trying to find words "We are watching our pasts go by, and we can't do anything about it. We just watch. And it's horrible…but we are getting through it"

Willow watched Buffy get shorter, and turn into a little girl. 

"What do you mean we?" Willow doubted she could get any more information, but tried anyway

"Me and William" little Buffy ran away into the house again, and Willow brought herself out of the trance. Before she came back to reality, a face flashed up in front of her. Drusilla.

"Giles!!!" Willow shouted at the top of her voice, trying to remember as much as she could

The watcher burst in, and took a notepad out of his pocket

"What did you see?" he asked, holding his pen ready.

"I think she's gone back in time. I saw a clock going back, and things growing down. I don't know how she got there" Giles jotted this down and Willow picked up the phone "but she isn't alone" she said, before dialling Xander's number.

---

Buffy paced a small area of pavement. Spike had five minutes to get there before his half hour was up.

Her head felt heavy. The different Dru was a shock. She doubted she'd ever be able to stake Drusilla should she have to…

It wasn't as if she had a choice in becoming a vampire. She was insane, and helpless, when Angel turned her. 

She thought about going back to the house Dru had come out of. She thought about talking to her. Getting to know her better. But that might make it more difficult to see what Angelus had in store for her. This was possibly her last night of sanity, before he started to push her over the edge.

As she thought, Spike came strutting across the street, with a basket in one hand, and his pockets full, and a grin plastered on his face.

"Don't ever tell me what you did to get this stuff," Buffy said, as he held the basket out to her. 

"Okay…I won't" Spike grinned again, and they started away, with Buffy rifling through the basket. A couple of loaves of bread, apples, and scones. 

"What's in the pockets?" Buffy indicated, and he pulled out some cigarettes, and chocolate "Oh yes, because cigarettes are so important to our survival. What's the chocolate for?"

Spike shrugged and handed the packets of chocolate to Buffy

"Thought you might want something"

Buffy took them and muttered thanks. 

Spike played vocal percussion to a song by the Sex Pistols, as they walked. The strangeness made her laugh. 

"What are you giggling at?" Spike asked, bemused. 

"You're singing a song that hasn't even been made yet," Buffy explained. 

Spike just smiled, and shrugged. They looked at each other for far too long, with smiles on their faces.

Buffy became quiet again, realising they'd almost had a moment, and looked down at her feet. She couldn't allow herself to get close to him. It just wouldn't work. 

"What do you want to do then? We're not far from some of the sights…St Paul's is 'round the corner" Spike was going to try and coax her out of the shell that he'd pushed her into.

"I'm not sure I can carry on walking all day" Buffy sighed "Maybe we should find somewhere to stay for the night. I figured we have to be sleeping for them to do their magic and move us along"

As the words left her mouth, the morning sun went down, and the moon came up in the sky. The streets, once milling with people, were now dark. A few couples walked arm in arm, rushing to avoid the "wild animals". There were a few streetwalkers waiting in alleyways to pick up customers. All round, London changed. 

Buffy stopped in her path and nodded

"I should have guessed"

Spike just shrugged

"Well, walking in the sun was fun…while it lasted" he muttered "I wonder what the point was…we didn't see anything that related to us in anyway…well, I didn't anyway"

Spike looked at her questioningly, silently asking if she'd seen anything. 

Buffy swallowed. She was supposed to see Drusilla. It was planned that way. 

"No, I didn't see anything" she lied "Can we just find somewhere to stay now?"

Buffy hurried along. Spike was all of a sudden a vampire again. Walking in the sun made him almost human, albeit a dead one. Now he was in the dark, and he was back to vampire Spike. She felt uncomfortable around him again.

Spike followed the temperamental Slayer, and hoped they didn't bump into Angelus, Darla, or worse still, Drusilla. 

"There used to be a house around here, owned by vamps. They might not have gotten 'round to killing the owners yet though"

Buffy winced, and Spike stopped on the pavement, trying to jog his memory. 

Eventually, he sprinted up the steps of a white house, and knocked on the door. Buffy followed and stayed back behind Spike. 

The door opened a small way, and a man stuck his head out.

"Hello?" the man spoke with a plummy English accent. Buffy immediately thought of Giles.

Spike seemed to be listening for something. Satisfied with whatever he was looking for, he brought his vamp face to the surface

The man in the house simply nodded, and opened the door wider letting him in. 

Aware of Buffy's heartbeat quickening, Spike grabbed her hand, and squeezed reassuringly. He knew she'd shout at him later, but for now, she held on, and stared wide eyed at a few vampires living like humans around the large house. Most were out hunting, but a few sat reading, and sewing. 

Spike made his way through the house to one of the many rooms. Buffy estimated that about ten vampires lived there. They came to an unoccupied room, with two single beds. 

Spike bustled her in, and shut the door behind them. To his relief, it had a lock. He closed the small latch, and settled himself on the other bed. Buffy threw him a chunk of bread, and an apple. 

"Food" she muttered, eyeing it warily…

---

Xander mumbled curses about "Middle of the night" and "dead boy Jr", as he trudged towards Spike's crypt. 

Willow had phoned him and practically ordered him to go to Spike's crypt and bring the apparently unconscious vampire to Buffy's house. 

He didn't understand why she thought he'd be unconscious, or what she'd said about Buffy. He only knew that Giles would pick them up in his car.

Xander walked into the crypt, and was shocked to see Spike sprawled on the floor…just as Willow had said.

"Spike! Can you hear me?" he shouted. It didn't occur to him why he cared that Spike was unconscious, but he was and he did care.

He got no reply, and lifted Spike under the arms.

A car pulled up outside the crypt, and Giles ran in. He lifted Spike's legs, and they struggled with the deadweight of the vampire to the car. The whole thing looked like a kidnapping, as Spike's unconscious form was bundled into the back of the car, and driven off without a word

---

"I've got a feeling we have to see these things" Spike paced the room, nervously looking out of the window. Buffy had just expressed extreme annoyance at being pushed around time "Kerensa is trying to prove something, right? You know what she's trying to prove…I don't need to go into that"

Buffy lifted her head

"I don't have feelings for you, Spike," she said, calmly.

Spike sighed, and shrugged

"Whatever. I figure there's a strategy. She didn't seem like the type who liked to lose. So she wants you to see your precious Angel being bad…badder than I've ever been. She's forcing you to see things in a different way"

Buffy nodded

"Agreed. But whatever she makes me see…whatever it is, it's not like I'm just going to forgive what you did to me" Buffy stated. Spike sat down now. 

"I can't emphasise quite how sorry I am," he said, more to himself than anyone else. 

Buffy ignored his apology and drummed her fingers restlessly

"You know she's going to show us what Angelus did from start to finish, don't you?" Buffy's voice was full of disguised fear. Spike knew exactly how she felt. 

"How do you know that?" Spike asked, growing worried. He didn't know what to make of the situation. If it was indeed Drusilla's maddening that they would see, then he didn't think he could control his anger. Insane or not, she had the face of the woman he loved for over 100 years. The face that would show pain, and fear.

"When I saw her today, she was-" Buffy froze, as she became aware of what she'd said.

"You saw her today?" Spike asked, sounding calmer than he looked. 

"No?" Buffy tried weakly "Yes…I saw her. Down a small street. She said she saw us"

Spike bit his lip, and blinked

"Her visions. What…what did she look like?" he asked, his voice small and quiet

"Like Dru. But not so thin" Buffy explained, wishing she'd kept quiet.

"What was she like? You spoke to her. She said she told you about her vision" 

Buffy sighed. His hands clutched at the bedspread. 

"She just seemed shy, and scared. I can't tell you much more. That was all it was" Buffy's voice trailed off, as it became clear that Spike wasn't listening.

"I'm going to kill him… If I see him hurt her, I swear, I'll kill him" Spike threatened to nobody in particular. 

Buffy slid off her bed, and made her way beside him on her knees. He looked at her, and smiled

"This is my fault. If I hadn't been so stupid, you might have listened to me, and given me a chance, and then we wouldn't be here"

Buffy couldn't disagree, but chose to change the subject slightly. 

"You're really in love with her," she said, sitting on the edge of his bed. 

"Used to be. I mean, really used to be. But I'm not now. I mean I love her, but I'm not in love with her" Spike sighed, seemingly placing that as the root of all his problems. 

---

Kerensa relaxed back in the soft chair, and sighed happily. A picture floated in the air, like a mini cinema screen. It was here that she controlled time. 

In the floating movie, Spike lay on a bed, and Buffy had her knees pulled to her chest, as she sat against the wall. So far she was winning the bet…Buffy was being civil to him. She just needed some prompting. 

A cacophony of footsteps grew louder, as Eros stormed into the room.

"What are you doing, Kerensa?" he demanded. With a roll of the eyes, Kerensa stood and smiled sweetly at her brother

"I can't imagine what you mean," she drawled.

"I just got back from Mother's, and I find this" Eros indicated the picture "You've shown them Drusilla"

Kerensa waved a hand, growing irritated with her brother

"Oh, I only let Buffy see her" she muttered, sitting down again.

"This is why Father wouldn't let you play before, Kerensa. He entrusted you to do this properly. You placed Buffy in a situation where she would encounter Drusilla. You failed to follow rules…I will have to tell him"

Eros started towards the door, satisfied with Kerensa's frightened face. She was powerful, but her father was the one thing that scared her. 

"I only did it so Buffy would see vampires in a different perspective. You'd do the same thing to win a bet, Eros"

The man stopped near the door and turned, with a mischievous smile on his face

"Okay. I won't tell Father, but you must let me add a new stop on their journey home" Eros' face lit up in a grin, and Kerensa nodded, defeated, and clicked her fingers. 

The floating picture changed to another street.

Taking Time : Maddening continued in next chapter

   [1]: http://www.441creative.com/jo
   [2]: mailto:harmony@441creative.com



	4. Maddening Part 2

Taking Time : Maddening Part 2

Series: Taking Time

Title: Maddening Part 2

Author: Harmony

Rating: PG-13 

Description: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever.

Pairing: B/S 

Disclaimer: The characters are merely my puppets for the day. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy are head puppeteer guys. They pull the strings.

Distribution: Free Again ([http://www.441creative.com/jo][1]) and anyone else I've given permission to. If you want it, e-mail me: [harmony@441creative.com][2]

Feedback: Imagine a world without shrimp. Well, I really like shrimp. Feedback is my shrimp. 

Dedications: Well…my family as usual. And you know what? James Marsters, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Cos they create these characters for me.

Authors notes : "Maddening" turned out longer than I expected. So it's been split into two parts.

---

"Well, here goes nothing" Buffy muttered, as she and Spike walked slowly along the path. 

"Do you feel dizzy?" Spike asked, touching his forehead "Must be all that time travelling"

They walked a little further, and found what they'd been sent to see. 

"Angelus" Buffy said, pointing across the street at the velvet-coated vampire. He walked along, almost a wolf like prowl. 

They moved closer, keeping out of sight, and paused when Angelus stopped at the mouth of an alleyway. He stuck his hand in, and lifted Darla from a kneeling position.

Delicately, Darla brushed herself off, the picture of elegance, and femininity. No sign of the demon that lay beneath save for a trickle of blood that ran down from the corner of her mouth. 

"She never really dresses for hunting does she?" Buffy whispered. Darla's hair was in ringlets, and she wore a full-skirted dress, with frills and lace. 

"I thought we were meeting in the square" Angelus asked Darla, as he looked past her into the alleyway. 

"I ran into Lord Nichols…horrid little man" Darla's gaze fell on the alleyway "He was propositioning a streetwalker, and dickering over the price…can you imagine? I told him I'd do him for nothing"

Spike snorted with laughter from their position across the street. 

"She would too," he muttered, remembering Angelus telling him about Darla's previous occupation. 

"You're very charitable" Angelus said, in a slightly sarcastic tone

"I so loathe cheap royalty" Darla sniffed, wiping at the blood on her mouth with a handkerchief. Buffy rolled her eyes as Angelus leant down, and licked and kissed the blood from her face.

Buffy wondered silently if it was cheating if he did it before she was born. 

"All taste the same to me," Angel drawled. The vampire couple looked just like a normal couple, good naturedly making fun of one another. 

"Mmmm…my boy does have the touch" Darla had attached herself to Angel's arm, as he looked into the alleyway again. 

"Darla"

"Yes?" she asked innocently

"Why'd you kill the streetwalker?" Angel was amused. 

"Oh I just liked her – Guess what's next?" Darla smiled, an evil glint in her eye. Angelus and Darla walked along the street. Angelus' eyes searched the area, trying to spot something.

Buffy felt a prod on her shoulder, and she turned to see Spike staring at three women. The tallest, and probably oldest of the three wore a mint green dress, with a matching bonnet. 

The woman turned suddenly, and Buffy watched the scared expression return to Drusilla's face.

Buffy felt a familiar tingle run up her spine, as Darla and Angelus stopped just in front of her. Darla was pleased with the hungry expression on her lover's face. 

"She sees the future" Angelus and Darla moved again, stalking towards their soon to be victim "She is pure innocence, yet she sees what's coming, she knows what I'm going to do to her. I'll really have to come up to snuff for this one"

Buffy heard a growl low in Spike's throat, and knew he was trying hard to control himself. Buffy felt something similar, as Darla and Angelus walked away, joking about what he planned to do to. Dru had disappeared into the crowd, moving the younger girls along and out of danger. 

---

Spike was uncharacteristically quiet. It was unsettling to Buffy, who walked beside him, expecting him to snap any minute. His jaw was clenched and his hands balled into fists. 

"Was it weird?" Buffy asked when the silence became too much to take. 

Spike shrugged

"No" he answered

"Please don't go into detail," Buffy said, sarcastically. 

Spike didn't answer, and Buffy rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"I don't know why it bothers you anyway," Buffy muttered. Spike heard her, and in the next second, she found herself pressed against a wall. Spike's hands held her shoulders, and he had a look of pure anger on his now demon face. For the first time, in a long time, she was scared of Spike. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he said, too calmly. 

Buffy shook her head

"I-I-I just meant…you loved the crazy Dru…not that one" Buffy's voice was quiet.

"You don't know a thing about it," he said, letting go of her shoulders and shifting back into his human face. 

Buffy stood still for a second, shaking off the shock. When she'd regained her composure, she lifted a hand, and slapped him hard across the face. 

"I don't think I want to know" she barracked in response, before running ahead, and leaving him alone. 

Spike ran after her, just managing to keep up. She ran without looking over her shoulder, not caring whether he followed. Part of him didn't want to catch up, because he didn't know what to say that would result in his walking away unscathed. 

Buffy turned, suddenly, and ran into an abbey. Spike hesitated at the door. Vampires couldn't die from going in holy places, and they weren't blocked out, but it gave any good unholy being, what could perfectly be described as, the wiggins. 

Regardless, Spike followed her, and found her sitting in a confessional. Monks chanted creating an unusual situation for a confrontation.

Buffy didn't look up when he closed the curtain behind him.

"Get away from me" she said, doing a bad impression of calm.

"Buffy, I know you're angry-" Spike started. Buffy cut him off by shaking her head

"There's nothing you can say that will make me forgive you. So don't bother"

Spike slapped a hand to his forehead, and leant back against the flimsy wall of the booth.

"Please, listen. I was stupid. I got a little angry about Dru, and…come on, we were getting on okay"

Buffy rose to her feet

"Yes. We were, because I began to think that maybe you weren't so awful. That maybe you were kind of funny, and nice, and sweet. But now I just feel so stupid for thinking of you as a friend, after all you've done" Spike's eyes moved from hers and focused on the floor "But you know what I feel towards you now?" Buffy paused, and Spike looked up "I hate you" 

At that, Buffy walked out of the booth, leaving Spike alone, with his head hung.

"You really blew it this time, Spike," he muttered to himself. Seconds later, Buffy rushed back into the booth, and seemed to be listening.

Spike listened too and heard a scuffle in the cubicle on the right hand side of theirs

"Please no…please" a male voice begged. A distinctive laugh echoed around the emptiness. Almost a giggle, but lower. 

"I always wondered if drinking a holy man's blood would be the same as drinking holy water" Angelus asked, sounding truly inquisitive "I have a high pain tolerance, so one way to find out" 

The wooden stand wobbled for a last time, as the sound of bones shifting, and a growl rang out in the quiet area.

Spike noticed Buffy was holding her breath, as a final gasp of pain sent shivers down her spine.

"Angelus…a priest" she whispered. She opened her mouth to speak again, but closed it when someone entered the stall beside them.

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned" a cockney woman's voice said. She sounded tired, worn out.

The sound of the dead priests body sliding to the floor could be heard. 

Spike looked at Buffy in surprise, and quickly looked back to the wall, as if trying to see through it.

"Dru?" he whispered. 

"It's been two days since my last confession" Drusilla said, and waited for the "priest" to say something. Angelus remained silent "Father?" 

"That's not very long," the Irish voice replied. 

"Oh, father, I'm so afraid" Dru's voice trembled. She sounded just as scared as she had been when Buffy first met her. 

"The lord if very forgiving. Tell me your sins"

Buffy closed her eyes. She doubted she could ever look at Angel again. Maybe it was just as well he was in LA. 

"I had... I've been seeing again, Father. Yesterday, the men were going to work in the mine. I had a terrible fright. My stomach all tied up, and I saw this horrible crash" Drusilla's ragged breathing, and terrified voice calmed a little "My mummy said to keep my peace, it didn't mean nothing. But this morning, they had a cave-in. Two men died"

Buffy noticed Spike was taking long unnecessary breaths, soothing the demon that threatened to surface. Angelus was playing a game with his Dru, and it made him angry. Part of him wished he'd just turn her, instead of driving her insane. But then he remembered. He loved her for her visions of fairies and circuses.

At Angel's prompt, Dru continued

"Me mum says I'm cursed. My seeing things is an affront to the Lord, that only he's supposed to see anything before it happens" Drusilla began to sob through her words "But I don't mean to, Father, I swear! I swear! I try to be pure in his sight. I don't want to be an evil thing"

Buffy thought Angelus must have been smiling the evil smile that haunted her, because she felt a familiar cold chill.

"Hush, child. The lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a devil child like you" Angelus taunted the lost girl behind the grate.

"A devil?" Some part of her had come for reassurance that she was good, and pure. Drusilla didn't expect the priest to confirm her fears.

"Yes! You're a spawn of Satan. All the Hail Marys in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that" Angelus pushed further, doing nothing to help the tears that already marred Drusilla's face. 

Spike pressed his forehead against the wood, as he heard the curtain slide open, then shut.

"What can I do?" Buffy heard Drusilla ask, as she walked out of the abbey. She'd had enough. She couldn't listen to Angel's evil alter ego's sneering voice anymore.

"Fulfill his plan, child. Be evil. Just give in" Angelus was having the time of his life. Drusilla really would be his finest work. 

"I want to be good! I want to be pure!" Drusilla protested

"We all do…at first. The world doesn't work that way" 

Spike blocked out the conversation in the next stall, and slid down onto the small bench. He hadn't noticed Buffy was gone. His mind lingered on Drusilla.

---

_Spike woke as a scream pierced the air. Drusilla was tossing and turning in her sleep, thrashing her arms wildly. _

_"NO! Leave them…please leave them" she cried. _

_Spike shook her awake. She continued to wave her arms, making scratches on his arms. _

_"Dru, love, wake up. I'm here baby" he spoke softly, not wanting to scare her_

_Dru's eyes flicked open, and she stared wide-eyed at her lover_

_"I was dreaming, Spike" she whispered, fear making her voice quiet. _

_Spike smiled reassuringly, and ran his fingers through her dark hair. She shuffled closer to him, and he cradled her to him. _

_"What about, darling?" he asked, knowing what the answer would be_

_"Daddy" she sighed, "He hurt my sisters, and my Mommy, and there was much confusion. Then my head came alive with colour" Dru spread the fingers of one hand, making a firework "He took my soul…I can't think clearly, my Spike. He should have just taken me. I'd have gone…to save my family…I'd have gone"_

_Spike pulled her closer, and shook his head. _

_One day, he'd kill Angelus for causing this_

_ _

_---_

"God is watching you" Angelus finished, in typical dramatic style. 

Drusilla gasped, before standing and scurrying out. 

Buffy slinked back into the shadows as Dru passed her, looking terrified. 

Seconds later, she was followed by Angelus, who walked down the steps looking smug, and pleased with himself. Darla appeared from another doorway in the abbey, wiping blood from her mouth. 

Buffy rolled her eyes, and started walking. A few minutes into her walk, Spike ran up to her side, and walked silently. His head hung, and he had his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Are you going to explain what happened earlier?" Buffy asked. 

"No" Spike sniffed, and looked up to check his path

"Why?"

Spike shrugged

"Because you have a one dimensional view of me and my kind. Vampires equals bad…well, all apart from your precious Angel who, by the by, happens to be the sickest bastard in town"

"Well, I'm not wrong to think that. You think pushing me against a wall is good?" Buffy rubbed at the bruise that had formed on her shoulder. 

"You pissed me off" Spike shrugged again.

Buffy stared at him

"So you get to hurt me?" she asked, incredulous

"Okay, Slayer. If it was Xander, and you said 'what do you know? You're a useless member of the Scooby gang', and he reacted like I did, you'd understand. You'd be apologetic. But not with me for some reason"

Buffy raised an eyebrow

"I _like_ Xander. Xander, friend. Spike, not friend"

Spike laughed humourlessly, and threw his hands up

"Fine. Whatever. You carry on being a bitch…because at least when you are, I know the world is normal"

The incredibly angry vampire stormed ahead, leaving Buffy in the street with her jaw hanging open. 

---

"Bring him up here" Willow shouted down the stairs, at the two men holding Spike. Giles had him under the arms, and Xander had his legs. 

They struggled up the stairs, and Willow directed them to Buffy's bed. 

"Put him down next to her," she instructed "I'm going to do the same thing to him. I'll see if we can work out some more about what's happened"

Giles nodded, and Xander frowned at Buffy and Spike lying next to each other, unconscious

"I won't even ask…hellmouthiness at it's finest," he muttered as he closed to door, leaving Willow alone with the two comatose bodies. 

Willow glanced at Spike as she lit candles again, and shuddered. His chest wasn't moving like Buffy's. He actually looked like the type of dead Willow knew as natural. Not the walking talking smoking dead. 

She took her seat at the end of the bed and looked at the closed eyes of the vampire. 

The room flashed again, and she found herself in a red room.

Spike stood up from his chair, and smiled warmly at her

"Will. I was expecting to see you. Come to find out what makes me tick?" he laughed, and stubbed the cigarette out. 

Willow smiled back and could only think that he was genuinely happy to see her. 

"Can I show you something?" he asked, opening the door, and leading her out

"Uh, yeah…it doesn't involve blood does it?" she asked nervously.

Spike just laughed, and led her around the red house. He opened the door to another room, and Willow walked in. A clock, similar to the one in Buffy's mind was on the wall, and it too went backwards.

On the wall was a picture of Willow. She frowned at seeing herself

"Spike, why am I on your wall?" she asked, a wrong answer away from freak out. 

"I like you…you've always been nice to me. You know, even after I shoved a bottle in your face, and tried to bite you" Spike smiled apologetically, and Willow shrugged

"Oh…well, that's good" Her eyes feel on a tiny picture of Xander in the lower corner of one wall "hey…you have Xander"

Spike looked sheepish

"Yeah well… I've always thought he was okay. Sort of not so bad"

Willow looked around again, and saw a picture of Buffy that took up a whole wall. 

"Oh…I understand. These are the people in your life" 

Spike nodded

"The people I give a damn about anyway. See? Buffy, Dawn, Joyce, and all the Scooby Gang"

Willow followed Spike as he walked out of the room. Who'd have thought Spike cared about them?

"What about Dru?" she asked. Spike turned

"We're seeing her now. We're really not enjoying it, and it's making things difficult between us"

Willow frowned

"You're talking cryptic now," she said. She hated when people did that

"It's the way things work. Nothing makes sense really," Spike answered, sitting on some stairs. It was then that she realised this was Buffy's house, minus furniture, with all red décor

"Why are you here?" Willow asked. 

"I just like it. Is there anything else you need to know?" Spike now held a picture in his hand. It was the picture of Buffy and Spike kissing.

"Do you love her?" she asked, aware that she sounded cryptic herself.

"More than I thought possible. I have to go now. But we'll be back in time" Spike disappeared, before Willow could ask any more questions.

Willow found herself back in the bedroom, and picked up the pen to write about her experience. 

---

Buffy was lost. She couldn't remember her way back to the house they were staying at. Spike was long gone. And to make it all the more difficult, there had been another shift in time. 

She was now at a convent, walking through a garden. The air was thick with danger, and the convent was eerily quiet. 

Just ahead of her, Darla stepped out of an alcove, once again, wearing a green dress not suited to hunting. It hung off the shoulder, revealing too much cleavage. Frills hung down her arms, and the skirt flared out. 

"Thankyou so much for this pleasant experience" Buffy sighed to herself, as she saw the two nuns Darla had just killed. 

Darla had disappeared by now, but another vampire was close. 

Buffy could sense it. She wondered if staking a vamp in self-defence would change history. 

Not wanting to be in that situation, Buffy hurried towards an open door a few feet away. 

She jumped, as a hand grabbed her shoulder. Feeling less scared than an ordinary human might, but more scared than she usually did, Buffy looked down at the hand, and rolled her eyes. She recognised that nail polish

"Spike, what the hell? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Buffy shook the hand off her shoulder, and turned to face him.

She gasped when she saw his face. He looked paler than usual, and his eyes were red with tears. His hands dripped with blood from cuts on his knuckles. 

"What happened?" she asked, as he leant back against the wall, in a daze

Spike looked up from his study of the grass, as Buffy took his hand, and examined the red marks on the fist. She held onto his hand, as she looked up at his face. 

"I got a little angry…decided that I'd rather take it out on a wall than hurt you again" Spike smiled, and shrugged. Buffy nodded in response, and let go of his hand. His smile faltered at loss of contact. 

"You know…storming off is supposed to make you calm down" Buffy teased. 

"Oh, I was calm. I calmed down, and I was on my way back to apologise – I don't really think you're a bitch - when there was another presto chango, and I ended up…" Spike's voice cracked "in a small house, watching that piece of crap killing Dru's family. I'm not going to lie to you, Buffy, to make myself look like a big man. I felt sick…what he did to them…there was so much blood"

Buffy dropped her attention from him, and closed her eyes. This was too much. This didn't apply directly to Spike or Buffy. Why were they seeing this? Buffy was scared. This situation was unfamiliar, and they had no control over it. The fact that tears were running down Spike's face again wasn't making the scenario easier to deal with. He wasn't supposed to cry. He was supposed to be calm.

"I'm a vampire, but… it was too much. Even for me… maybe it was because Dru was so scared. She was-"

Spike was cut off, by Buffy wrapping her arms around his waist

"It's okay" she soothed, as she felt his arms hold her back

As the two held each other, providing some kind of comfort, Angelus and Darla taunted Dru in a room just beyond the wall. They planned to turn her…for her to suffer an eternity of torment. Dru's life would soon be over, but Buffy and Spike knew they had more to suffer. 

TBC…

_ _

   [1]: http://www.441creative.com/jo
   [2]: mailto:harmony@441creative.com



	5. Alter Ego

Taking Time : Alter Ego

Series: Taking Time

Title: Alter Ego

Author: Harmony

Rating: PG-13 

Description: Buffy and Spike go back in time, and see the events that shaped their lives, and that will change their relationship forever.

Pairing: B/S 

Disclaimer: The characters are merely my puppets for the day. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy are head puppeteer guys. They pull the strings.

Distribution: Free Again ([http://www.441creative.com/jo][1]) and anyone else I've given permission to. If you want it, e-mail me: [harmony@441creative.com][2]

Feedback: Imagine a world without shrimp. Well, I really like shrimp. Feedback is my shrimp. 

Dedications: Well…my family as usual. And you know what? James Marsters, and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Cos they create these characters for me.

---

They'd called a truce. For now, while they were stuck being the playthings for the siblings that sent them here, they would get on, and help each other through the hard parts of their journey. 

Now Buffy was deep in thought, as they trudged around waiting for the next time shift.

"How old were you when you turned?" she asked

Spike shot her a sideways glance

"25. Why?"

Buffy nodded and shrugged

"So somewhere there's a five year old Spike? This is twenty years before you were vamped right?"

Spike exhaled a puff of air

"Uhh…yes. And the house I lived in is too far away for us to walk to, so no, you can't go visit baby Spike and make googly eyes at him"

Buffy opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again. Spike knew exactly what she was going to suggest.

"Oh, spoil my fun. I'd have liked to have seen an innocent you though…see what you were like before you learnt to say Bloody Hell"

As if on cue, the scenery changed, and they stepped into another part of London. 

Spike nodded appreciatively as he looked at Buffy. 

She now wore a deep red dress, with a straight floor length skirt, and a low cut bodice. Her hair was piled on her head, in curls, held up with a small ribbon. 

Buffy looked down at herself, and smiled a half smile.

"Wow" she sighed, twisting a little, flaring the skirt out. 

"Pretty much" Spike approved. 

Buffy finally looked up from the silk material, and smiled again

"You uh…you changed too," she said, grinning.

Spike did a comedic double take, as he looked at the black suit he wore. A single-breasted jacket, with a red waistcoat, black shirt, and trousers. Buffy had to admit that he looked amazing. The bleached hair didn't even look out of place, as he still wore his usual red and black. 

Spike, on the other hand, wasn't happy

"Where's my duster?" Spike started patting down the suit, and looking around "It can't just be gone"

Buffy raised her eyebrow

"Umm, frenzied much?" she frowned

"I've had my duster for 24 years" Spike shook his head "I knew something was off about that Kerensa woman"

Buffy laughed as she started off again. Spike ran to catch up; looking over his shoulder, hoping the jacket had turned up. 

"Did you figure this out before or after you verbally undressed each other?" she giggled. Spike glared back

"It's alright for you…you look great. I look like a pillock" he sighed.

Buffy looked at him again, and shook her head. 

"You look fine. Don't be a big baby" Buffy slowed down her walk "I actually have no clue where I'm going"

"Still London, and I recognise that hou-oh no…god no" Spike brought a hand to his mouth, and shook his head in absolute horror. 

Buffy became instantly worried, and bent down a little into a fighting stance, out of habit. 

"What? What is it?" she asked, looking all around her. No demons. No vampires, with the exception of Spike. The only sound was classical music coming from a large house across the street. 

"Oh, nothing. I thought I saw someone I knew" Spike lied, and turned around "Let's…find out when we are"

Buffy resisted his tug on her arm, and stared at him. He eyed the house nervously. 

"What are you hiding? What's in that house that you don't want me to see?" Buffy turned back towards the brightly lit windows and sounds of glasses clinking, and people laughing. What could possibly be making Spike so nervous?

"Oh, I…uh…massacred them all. The whole bloody lot of them. Oh yeah, in five minutes, you'll see me and Dru go in, and rip their intestines out, and come out again, with blood on our hands…laughing. We laughed at them when we killed them. Cos I was, still am, a bad evil nasty vampire" Spike blurted quickly, before grabbing Buffy's arm again "I don't think you want to see it"

Buffy could tell he was lying, and she placed her free hand on her hip. 

"Massacred them, huh?" She felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips

"Oh yeah…real brutal, like" Spike flashed his wicked smile, and Buffy put on a frown

"I really wouldn't want to see that" Buffy shook her head, and Spike let go of her arm.

"I know. Evil thing I did in my past" Spike and Buffy headed away from the house, and Buffy heard Spike sigh with relief. As he relaxed from his hysteria, Buffy grinned wickedly, turned in the other direction, and sprinted back towards the house, laughing all the way. 

"Bloody Hell, Buffy!" Spike shouted as he gave chase. 

He caught up with her, as she straightened her dress, and hair at the Victorian door, that hid a secret that he'd hoped she'd never find out about. 

Spike grabbed her wrist as she reached for the knocker. 

"Do you really want to go into a party, in a time period that you know nothing about, and chat to the people who will be all over you because you happen to be American, and also the prettiest girl there?" Spike attempted to reason with her, but instead prompted a devilish smile. Buffy cocked her head

"I don't hear screaming, Spike. Have we arrived to early? You mean I won't get to see your massacre?" Buffy raised an eyebrow, and Spike hung his head 

"So I didn't massacre them. I just know there was a party here, and…I wasn't invited. I didn't want you to go in, because it's not your scene" Spike bit the inside of his lip, and Buffy rolled her eyes

"How do you know I'm the prettiest girl if you don't know who's in there?" she challenged. 

Spike groaned. She saw right through him

"Well, it's a given. Nobody comes close to you" Spike said, half trying to stop her going in, and half telling the truth. 

Buffy took a deep breath

"Nice try, Casanova. Are you going to play along?" Buffy didn't give him a chance to answer, before knocking on the door. 

Spike leant down to her ear

"I am going to make your life hell at any possible opportunity," he whispered. Buffy just shrugged, and beamed at the doorman. 

"You're not wearing a coat, ma'am? It is rather chilly out," the man said, conversationally. Buffy smiled, and Spike nodded at him. 

Spike took Buffy's hand, and led her down the stairs. At the bottom, people milled about holding wine glasses, and canapés, laughing at anecdotes.

Buffy glanced about the room, and suddenly felt glad of the hand that held hers. So many strangers. So much conversation about topics she didn't know how to begin to talk about. 

Spike looked back at her, and walked with her to a seat, in the corner of the room. 

"See? Told you it wasn't your type of thing. Not exactly the Bronze is it?" Spike said, as he sat down, pulling her down beside him. 

"What were you so worried about?" Buffy asked, looking around the room again. It became clear that they'd been dressed to fit in with this crowd of people. Many women wore dresses like hers. 

"I just don't like this crowd. I know half the people here, and I don't want to be recognised" Spike shifted a little into the corner of the L shaped seat, hiding himself. 

"They're vampires?" Buffy whispered, eyeing the red "wine" in someone's glass.

"Uh…bloodsuckers would be a pretty good description," Spike muttered. He met eyes with a man across the room, who looked in their direction. Buffy noticed him too, and smiled. 

Spike followed the man's gaze, and saw he wasn't looking at them, but rather at Buffy, with an appreciative smile. Spike glared back at the man, and put his arm around Buffy. He pulled her towards him, and flashed his game face at the other man. Spike grinned, as the man jumped, and turned away, shaking a little. 

Buffy slapped Spike's arm for his efforts.

"Uh, hello possessive guy" 

Spike smiled widely at her

"I told you…I'd make your life hell. I'm just getting started"

Buffy sighed, and stood up. 

"Well, you can't do it, if I'm not with you" she said, balling her fists on her hips. 

"Where are you going?" Spike hissed. 

"To get some wine. You want some?" Buffy smiled sweetly. 

Spike stood up, and took her hand again

"I'll come with you" 

Spike figured he could steer Buffy away from certain places he didn't want her to go. Buffy, for all her slayer strength and almost fearless nature, was once again glad to have him there. She'd be lost if someone approached her.

Halfway to the waiter that walked around with a tray of champagne flutes, someone did approach them. Two men, and a woman. The woman wore red, like Buffy, and the men wore suits. 

Buffy looked between Spike and the two men, who leered at her in the most proper way, and clutched his arm. She could feel the muscles in his arm contracting, as he clenched and unclenched his fist. She looked at his jaw, and saw that he was also gritting his teeth. Spike didn't like these people for some reason. Buffy looked back at the three people. They looked like a pack of wolves, hunting for prey. They thought they'd found it in the small, shy woman, and her acquaintance with the odd coloured hair. 

"Good Evening" the woman said, in a plummy English accent, looking at Buffy with contempt "Are you enjoying yourselves?"

"Oh…yes. It's a lovely party," Buffy said, trying, and failing to hide her accent. 

The woman looked positively giddy, as she listened to Buffy's reply. Excitedly, she turned to her male counterparts, and smiled.

"You're American? What part?" she asked. Spike was engaged in a one sided glaring contest with the brunette male, who had moved closer to Buffy on her left side. 

"Umm, Southern California" Buffy edged towards Spike, as she noticed the man coming closer. 

"Really? My cousin lives in Boston" The second man, with sandy coloured hair, said "Do you come from California also?" he asked Spike

"No. No, I'm English" Spike said, none too subtly moving between the brunette man and Buffy.

"What brings you to London, uh…sorry I didn't catch your name?" the woman asked. 

"You didn't catch her name, because she didn't tell you" Spike muttered. Buffy hid a smile. 

"Buffy…Buffy Summers. I'm in London because…" Spike opened his mouth to answer, but closed it when Buffy continued, "We're newly married"

Spike shot a smile at the suddenly crestfallen man, who had shown too much interest in Buffy. 

"Buffy? That's a rather unusual name," the woman laughed, ignoring the part about marriage. 

"You think so? I like it" Buffy wasn't offended, but thought she could get there if the woman continued to laugh at her.

"I rather like it too, darling" he said to Buffy, laying a kiss on her forehead "It's not as common, as say…Katherine"

The woman raised an eyebrow

"That's my name," she said, sounding offended

"I know…" Spike grinned. Buffy shot "Katherine" a triumphant smile.

"I say, do I know you? You look rather familiar," the light haired man asked. Spike shrugged

"I don't think so, mate" Spike muttered, walking away with Buffy.

"Okay, I should have just stayed sitting down. Who the hell did they think they were?" Buffy stared at the woman's back, as they laughed about something. 

"They are the types of humans that make vampires look good," Spike said. Then the moment he'd been dreading happened. Buffy suddenly squeezed his arm, and pointed at something a few feet away. He braced himself for the explanation

"Spike…it's you!" she exclaimed. 

"Okay, yeah, so I was here. And yeah, I didn't have bleached hair. But that doesn't mean I'm not bad. What can you tell from appearances anyway?"

Buffy wrinkled her nose, and shook her head

"You're in the mirror" she clarified. Spike rolled his eyes, and looked in the direction that she was pointing. 

"Bloody Hell" he muttered, moving closer to the mirror on the wall. 

"Surprised?" Buffy said, smiling, at his reflection

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Spike ran a few fingers through his hair. Buffy frowned

"I kind of like your hair" she blushed. Spike smiled back at her in the mirror, and then shook his head

"No, I don't mean that. Why didn't you tell me I was so bloody good looking?" Spike looked at his face from all angles, as Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Wow, your ego just got boosted by 150%," she laughed. 

Spike ran his thumb over the scar on his eyebrow. 

"Even this looks pretty cool" He looked at Buffy in the mirror again, looking for confirmation. 

"I guess…can't imagine you without it" Buffy was rapidly becoming embarrassed. She was agreeing with his assessment of himself. 

"So answer me a question. Why don't you like me? I mean, look at me" Spike grinned at his reflection, enjoying the way he looked with a smile. 

Buffy glared at him, but let him have his moment. 

"One, you do things that make me forget you are good looking. Two, I imagined what you'd be like looking in the mirror, and decided I could never date someone who was in love with themselves more than me" Buffy laughed, despite the depth to her words. Spike stood away from the mirror, and smiled 

"Well…I haven't seen myself in lots of years. I got a little excited is all" Spike stole a glance in the mirror as they walked back to the main part of the party "So you find me attractive then?"

Buffy shrugged

"You do know that you are never to bring this up when we get back to Sunnydale? Because then we aren't friends. We're enemies again. This truce is only until we get home" Buffy stalled. Spike nodded "Well, then I suppose you are pretty good looking"

Spike smiled, in satisfaction, and squeezed her hand. Buffy smiled back again, and was in danger of getting lost in his deep blue eyes, when she spotted something over his shoulder. 

"Spike…it's you again" she said, tapping his shoulder

"Another mirror?" Spike said, turning around excitedly. Instead he saw himself sitting away from the party, questioning a waiter.

"Oh crap," he muttered, as Buffy moved towards his clone. 

"Oh, quickly! I'm the very spirit of vexation. What's another word for "gleaming"? It's a perfectly perfect word as many words go but the bother is nothing rhymes, you see" The other Spike asked the waiter, who simply smiled back, and walked away. 

Buffy looked at the different Spike. He wore a suit similar to the other men around the room, and had a pair of glasses perched on his nose. His hair was a sandy coloured floppy style. In his hand, was a page of writings. She looked at the embarrassed Spike behind her, and shook her head in question. 

"Buffy Summers, meet William" he sighed, pointing at the man who now stared across the room. 

Buffy raised her eyebrows, and smiled

"This is why you didn't want me to come here," she said, not expecting an answer. Spike was busy staring at himself. 

"Cecily..." William whispered. Buffy turned to look at the woman that William had been looking at. She wore a white dress, with a purple frilled sash around the neckline. William went back to his poem, and wrote a few more words, before getting up

"Are you a vampire?" Buffy asked. 

Spike glared at Cecily

"No. But that isn't me. We're two different people" Spike was on the defensive. 

Cecily had positioned herself on the outside of a conversation with the three people who had cornered them earlier. 

"Poor woman" Buffy laughed. Spike was suddenly very interested in his alter ego, as he hovered on the outskirts, looking longingly at Cecily. 

"You…uh, I mean, William loved her," Buffy said, smiling at the soppy expression on William's face. 

"Yeah, he did" Spike muttered. 

"Why are you getting so defensive, Spike?" Buffy asked, taking a seat so she could watch and listen. 

"Buffy, this isn't a bloody cinema" he snapped. Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled him down beside her. 

"Ah, William! Favour us with your opinion. What do you make of this rash of disappearances sweeping through our town? Animals or thieves?" the light haired man asked the shy William. Buffy felt as though she would find out why Spike had been so tense around them before. 

"I prefer not to think of such dark, ugly business at all. That's what the police are for. I prefer placing my energies into creating things of beauty" William replied, snootily. Spike groaned as the poem was snatched from William's hand.

"Can we just go, pet?" he asked, impatiently. Buffy shook her head. There was something about William that explained a lot about Spike. Like his capacity for love, it explained why he loved so fully. The way he looked at Cecily, like she was a goddess. 

"I see. Well, don't withhold, William" the moustachioed aristocrat, flicked the paper to straighten it. 

"Rescue us from a dreary topic" the snooty women drawled. 

"Careful. The inks still wet. Please, it's not finished" William pleaded, reaching for the paper. Spike put his head in his hands, as he felt his cool, big bad persona dying right in front of him. Buffy would probably laugh at him.

"Don't be shy," The protagonist said. He lifted the paper, and began to read "My heart expands 'tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your beauty, effulgent" The people in the crowd began to laugh at the poem "Effulgent?" the man teased. Cecily glanced at William, before moving away to sit alone. 

Buffy watched, and turned to Spike, who still hid his face. 

"What's her deal?" she asked. Spike looked up and shook his head

"Who?"

"Cecily" Buffy nodded towards the woman. 

Spike wrinkled his nose

"You did hear the poem, right?" he scoffed, as William walked past them to sit with Cecily. 

"I thought it was pretty good" Buffy shrugged. Spike smiled a little, assuming she was just trying to make him feel better. 

"And that's actually one of his better compositions" The leering man laughed. The woman giggled

"Have you heard? They call him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!"

Spike groaned again, and Buffy giggled, ignoring the glare that Spike aimed at her. 

"It suits him. I'd rather have a railroad spike through my head than listen to that awful stuff!" the man exclaimed. 

Buffy glanced wide-eyed at Spike, who looked at the floor. She'd always wondered where he picked that name up. 

Spike seemed to remember something, and he tried to lead Buffy away again. 

"Come on, you've seen the not so bad me. Maybe we should go," he said. Buffy resisted, and focused her attention on William and Cecily. 

"Please? I just want to see what happened…" Buffy pouted, and Spike folded. He couldn't resist. Maybe she'd learn something from what she was about to see. 

"Cecily?"

The demure woman turned to face William, and sighed as he sat down. 

"Oh. Leave me alone" she almost gasped, as she fanned herself. 

"Oh, they're vulgarians. They're not like you and I" William laughed a little, gesturing at the small crowd of people. 

"You and I? I'm going to ask you a very personal question and I demand an honest answer. Do you understand?" Cecily looked down at William, who nodded, just basking in the company of the woman he loved. 

"She's got attitude problems," Buffy muttered. Spike mumbled an agreement, from the hand that covered his mouth. 

"Your poetry, it's... they're... not written about me, are they?" Cecily asked, stumbling over her words

"They're about how I feel" William replied. Buffy began to see some of Spike in him. Not the violence loving killer, but the man that loved Drusilla with all of his heart…the man that loved her. Somewhere in her thoughts, Buffy's hand held Spike's. She didn't know why, and neither did he. 

"Yes, but are they about me?"

William inhaled a large breath

"Every syllable" he said as he exhaled. 

"Oh, God!" Cecily exclaimed, dismayed.

"Oh, I know... it's sudden. Please, if they're no good, they're only words but... the feeling behind them... I love you, Cecily" As William spoke, Spike sighed. Buffy felt a tingle run down her spine. It was so similar to the way Spike had told her. 

"Please stop!" Cecily stood up now, making William feel smaller than he already did. 

"I know I'm a bad poet but I'm a good man and all I ask is that...that you try to see me" Cecily cut off William's words.

"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William" Spike held a breath he didn't need, and thought back to the night he'd comforted her on her porch "You're beneath me" Cecily finished. 

Spike heard a short sharp breath from Buffy, and felt her hand drop from his.

William watched his love leave, and Buffy blinked back tears

"You're beneath me…" Buffy whispered, remembering the very thing Spike had remembered. She turned to Spike, and he smiled nervously "I'm sorry" she muttered, walking hurriedly out of the party. William was close behind, though not chasing Buffy, and Spike followed her. 

He caught sight of her running down an alleyway, to hide for a few minutes, getting her head clear. 

William walked along, ripping the paper, and crying. Spike remembered the pain, and wished he could tell William what was about to happen to him. How he'd be turned, and his unlife would begin. The unlife that led to 120 years with Dru. The unlife that led to Buffy, the light in his dark world. William walked along, bumping into Angelus, Darla and Dru. Spike was surprised to see them. He never knew it was them that he'd run into. His human self walked into the alleyway that Buffy had gone into, and Spike cursed. He couldn't get in there now, without being seen. 

Instead, he sprinted around to the other entrance to the alleyway. 

---

Buffy's sob hitched in her throat, as William walked into the light, throwing pieces of paper away. She was well hidden in the shadows, and now she watched curiously. 

"And I wonder…what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?" Buffy turned towards the voice, and was shocked to see Drusilla. She hadn't heard her. Spike came up behind her, giving her a third shock, and he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. 

"Nothing. I wish to be alone," William said, sniffing his tears away. 

"Oh, I see you. A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory. That and burning baby fish swimming all around your head" Drusilla's hands moved in a circle in front of her stomach. Buffy shuddered. The sweet girl she'd met was long gone. A lunatic stood in her place. 

"That's quite close enough. I've heard tales of London pickpockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell you" William moved backward. Spike was more than a little disturbed by seeing himself and Drusilla together. 

"Don't need a purse. Your wealth lies here" Drusilla touched William's head "and here" her finger went to his heart "In the spirit and imagination" Drusilla's hand moved lower, causing William to gasp "You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine" Drusilla's' head swayed to music only she could hear. William stood amazed at her ability to understand him.

"Oh, yes! I mean, no. I mean... mother's expecting me" William attempted to resist, but allowed Dru to push the material of his shirt collar aside. 

"I see what you want. Something glowing and glistening. Something…" Dru's hand grasped at the air, as if catching a thought "effulgent"

Buffy took a breath, and found herself slightly mesmerised by Dru. Her madness was beautiful in a way. 

"Effulgent" William repeated, lost for breath, and happy beyond words. 

"Do you want it?" Drusilla asked

"Oh, yes!" William's hand came to rest on Dru's chest, and he gasped "God, yes"

Drusilla's head hung, and Buffy felt Spike let out a gasp as she lifted her head again, revealing fangs. 

William faltered a little, as Drusilla pulled his collar back, and sunk her elongated fangs into his neck. William cried out in pain, before finding pleasure in it. Buffy looked up to see Spike smiling, and she looked back, not understanding why he was enjoying his death. 

"Must be a vampire thing," she muttered, turning out of the alleyway, and back onto the street. 

---

Spike caught up with her a few minutes later, having stayed to watch Dru feed William her blood. 

"That was amazing" he gushed, as he came alongside Buffy. 

"I guess" Buffy shrugged. Spike touched her arm

"What wrong? Why did you run out of the party?" 

Buffy looked up at the loving blue eyes, and sighed

"I listened to Cecily telling William…telling you exactly what I said to you behind the Bronze that night…and realised how horrible I was to say it. This was before you chained me up. I had no excuse for talking to you like that"

Spike shrugged

"It's not a big deal," he muttered, though deep down he was glad she had apologised. 

"To me it is. Am I always so cold? Am I always that heartless?" Buffy's eyes threatened to spill tears again. 

"No…no. You're not. You've never said anything to me that I didn't deserve" Spike paused "Well, except that. But that was a one off, but mostly, you are the most loving, kind, wonderful person"

Buffy smiled, and ducked her head

"You're not so bad yourself" she replied, making him laugh. 

"We need somewhere to stay. Maybe some food" 

"You haven't had any blood for…how long have we been here?" 

"Seems like 4 days. I don't think I need blood here. I can walk in daylight, see myself in mirrors. Still dead, but I don't feel like I need blood"

Spike stopped at what looked at the back of a house.

"What's this?" Buffy asked, looking up the large wall. 

"My house" Spike said.

"And you want to stay here?" Buffy asked, incredulous. 

"Why not? My Mum's in bed. So we'll have to be quiet, but she'll never check the attic room" Spike reached above the door, and felt around for something

"Attic room?" Buffy asked, as he produced a key, from above the door. 

"For lodgers if we took them. There isn't anyone staying there, so she's got no need to go up there," Spike explained.

"Don't you ever miss her?" Buffy asked, as he opened the door. 

"Yeah…sometimes. But I kind of have a replacement. Joyce is like a Mum to me" Spike closed the door behind Buffy and slipped his jacket off. 

Any other day, Buffy would have reacted badly to Spike claiming her mother as his. But today it made her smile. 

"I'm not a good cook, but there's come of Mum's leftover stew" Spike said from the larder "She was a bloody good cook…I could heat it up on the stove"

Buffy grinned. Spike cooking would be a sight she'd never forget. 

"That's fine"

---

A few bowls of stew, and a cleaned up kitchen later, Spike walked through the house, pointing out pictures of himself. His shame seemed to have disappeared, and he now enjoyed showing Buffy around. 

At the bottom of the stairs, Spike pointed up.

"That's my mother's room. The one at the top of the stairs. We have to go past that, and up a staircase to the attic. Every third step on the stairs creaks"

Spike looked at Buffy for confirmation that she understood, and she nodded. Spike started up first, avoiding every third step. Buffy followed, trying not to laugh at the absurdity. 

They reached the top, and tiptoed past his mother's door. Once they closed the door to the attic staircase behind them, Buffy giggled. 

"What's so funny?" Spike asked, as he pushed the hatch open. 

"Something tells me William never snuck girl's into the attic" Buffy laughed, as Spike helped her up into the sparsely furnished room. A larger than usual single bed, was pushed against one wall, and there was a small wardrobe, a bookcase and bedside cabinet. A sink was on one wall. 

"No, William didn't" Spike laughed, throwing his jacket into the corner. Buffy walked to the sink, and turned to water on. The pipes clanked once, and Buffy froze, but Spike waved her on

"They always made that noise once…it'll work fine now"

The sink filled with water, and Buffy turned the tap off. 

Spike pulled a book out of the case. He flicked through it whilst padding the room, as Buffy pulled her hair out of the ribbon, and washed her face, and hands. 

When she'd finished, she let the plug out, and the water twirled down the sink. 

"So what was it like seeing yourself?" she asked, drying her face off with a small hand towel.

"Embarrassing" Spike, said, glancing over the top of the book. He was having difficulty reading again. 

"I thought he was quite sweet" Buffy mused, and placed the hand towel back on its small rail. 

"Yeah? You prefer me right?" Spike, placed the book down, and crossed his hand over his chest

"You're the same person. You both need glasses" Buffy teased. 

Spike sighed, and pulled a pair of reading glasses out of his pocket

"I know. Just thought they made me look like a dork. I found these downstairs" Spike put them on and grinned, "What do you think?"

Buffy nodded

"They look okay actually. Not so bad…" Buffy laughed, "Which is pretty much the theme of the day"

Spike looked up from the book he'd picked up again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. 

Buffy shrugged, and stood beside the bed. It occurred to her they hadn't even thought about the single bed. Someone would be on the floor. She was intent on claiming it as hers for the night. 

"Well, you really aren't so bad now are you?" Buffy bit her lip as soon as she'd said it. It was a direct attack on the one thing he'd always claimed to be. 

Spike took his glasses off and put the book down for a second time. He took three steps towards her, and Buffy raised an eyebrow. 

"You don't think I'm bad?" he said, taking a fourth step. The back of Buffy's legs touched the mattress, and Spike was right in her personal bubble. 

"Well…you got a chip, and you love your Mum, and you help the Slayer…seems pretty tame to me" Buffy knew she was practically asking for him to move closer. It shocked her that she was enjoying his proximity. 

Spike didn't move closer, but tapped her shoulder, causing her to loose balance. Her back hit the mattress, and Spike stood over her, and…was she smiling? 

"Tame?" Spike questioned, placing a hand either side of her head, but staying as far away as he could, whilst trapping her. 

"Yeah…you're just a great big softy" Buffy inhaled a sharp breath, as Spike moved to straddle her thighs. 

"Uh huh…so you're telling me this because you think I won't hurt you?" Spike's voice was at the dangerously low level he always used when threatening. But Buffy didn't feel threatened. Something in his eyes told her he was only playing. Something in hers told him she was enjoying it. 

"Oh, I know you won't. You couldn't even if you wanted to" Buffy tapped his head with the index finger of her right hand "You're chipped" 

Spike rolled his eyes, and grabbed her wrist.

"Remember, in Ireland? When I stopped you killing Darla?" Buffy nodded. Of course she remembered. Spike's chip coming out was one of her nightmares. She shuddered at the memory of the dream she'd had that very night. Spike had killed her. She could still feel his fangs in her neck, from the dream. The fangs that didn't hurt her…just drained her of her life. "You remember how my chip didn't go off when I hurt you?" 

Spike was practically dizzy. Buffy was letting him do this. She trusted him…was that going to far? She could be planning to kick him off any minute…

Buffy sighed, as she stared into the blue eyes. She trusted him and it scared her more than the fact that he had her pinned to the bed. Even as he placed her wrist above her head, and held it there, she still trusted him. And he had no chip! This is what made her shudder. She didn't think for a second that he'd take advantage of that fact and kill her there and then. 

"I remember" Buffy whispered 

"So you still think I won't hurt you?" Spike lifted her other wrist above her head. He could bite her now…her hair was conveniently away from her neck. But he wasn't even looking at her exposed throat. He was much more interested in her eyes. 

"I know you won't" Buffy said defiantly. 

Spike nodded, and waited to be propelled towards the door, by a swift kick to the chest. 

Nothing. 

Silence. 

Buffy's heartbeat racing a little faster. His unnecessary breathing. But nothing much more. 

Five minutes passed like this. Buffy's hands held over her head, no struggling, Spike dangerously close to her neck. 

When she just gazed at him expectantly, he took a large breath, trying to contain the smile that threatened to spread over his face. Buffy blinked three times, and begged him to make a move with her eyes. 

He did. His bones shifted, bringing his demon visage to the surface. And she wasn't scared. She still trusted him. 

"Buffy" he said, from beside her neck. The breath made shiver "What's going on?" The fangs filling his mouth distorted his voice. 

"I…guess I don't think you'll bite me. You'd be dust if I thought you were going to hurt me"

Spike moved upwards again, and his now golden eyes looked down at her hazel coloured ones.

"Is that trust?" Spike let go of one of her wrists, and twirled a length of her hair around his finger. 

Buffy resisted a giggle. This sense of danger, this atmosphere was making her stomach spin in the best way possible. 

"Yeah" She replied, failing to keep the emotion out of her voice

Spike nodded, ran his tongue along his fangs, and leant down to her neck again. He grazed the skin with his sharp teeth, and closed his eyes. This was amazing. 

Buffy felt his long teeth retract, and his blue eyes appeared before her face. Only she couldn't see. Her eyes were closed, enjoying the feeling of his breath on her throat. 

A feeling that wasn't there anymore. She opened her eyes to see his head cocked, and his lips curved in a smile. He was back to human face again. 

One hand was still stuck above her head, but the free hand was on his arm. 

Thinking that dying like this would be pretty good, Spike leant down and kissed her. Gentle enough for her to push him away easily, but strong enough to put some feeling behind it. 

Buffy blinked, and kissed him back. His tongue ran along her bottom lip, seeking more. Buffy responded by parting her lips slightly. Already more mind-blowing than the gentle pecks Riley had given her; Buffy took control. She plundered his mouth with her tongue, and they fought, as they always did, for dominance, their tongues clashing in a delicious battle. They parted minutes later, and Spike began to nip at her neck again, with his now blunted teeth. Buffy pulled her arm free from his grasp, and slid the red waistcoat off, as he lavished the pulse point on her neck with attention. 

It was then that she giggled. Spike paused, and lifted his head. He stared at her questioningly. 

"What?" he asked. His voice quavered with desire, and Buffy reached up to push a small spike of hair back into position. 

"You're wearing a waistcoat," she said through her laughter. Spike looked down at the blood coloured garment in her hand, and shook his head

"I was wearing a waistcoat," he muttered. Buffy smiled back, and he felt like he might die. She was smiling at him. Now she was giggling again. He watched as tears of laughter ran down her face. She hadn't even been laughing that long. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laughing" Buffy said, making an effort to calm down. 

Spike shook his head and lifted his hand to her hair. 

"No…I like it" he said "I like you…everything about you"

Buffy realised now where those tears had come from. She felt them now. They still ran down her face. They were tears as she realised just how much he did love her. She'd said he couldn't love without a soul, but there was a love in those kisses that she'd never thought existed. 

Before he could speak another word, Buffy was kissing him again, and putting everything she felt towards him into it. And now, it was a lot more than she wanted to feel. 

   [1]: http://www.441creative.com/jo
   [2]: mailto:harmony@441creative.com



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